In an airplane emergency, the oxygen bag needs to first go to the parent so that they can then optimally help their child. Parents of these children need to develop skills in calming themselves so that they can help their children learn to calm themselves, as well. In neurological terms, when your child is having a meltdown, they are experiencing an “amygdala hijack.” The emotional part of their brain is reacting to a stressor as if it were a predator, and this triggers a “fight, flight or freeze” reaction. And don’t be quick to think that this is just a therapist’s job, because if the child goes home to their most intimate, loving attachment figures (parents) and finds them angry, exasperated and judgmental, the child’s brain will be in too much of a chronic firestorm to intentionally access any coping and calming techniques. Only lots of cognitive and emotional retraining will do so. You might think that these things shouldn’t throw your child’s emotional throttle into the red zone, but that judgment won’t help the child learn how to calm themselves. Routine expectations for a child (such as bedtime, going to school, participating in team sports) may seem to you like they should be mild stressors, but they can be experienced as major ones by anxious children. It’s better for you to remain in the cool green zone. Getting mad at a child who is in the red zone is like throwing grease on a fire. Your child becomes hysterical, irrational, screaming, resistant and absolutely out of control. What stresses the average child (situations such as feeling physically uncomfortable, being excluded or becoming frustrated with a task) and registers on the meter in the orange zone of 6 or 7 is experienced by your sensitive child as an 8, 9 or 10, which is the red zone. Imagine a scale ― a “distress-o-meter” - which ranges from 1 to 10. These children typically have a tough time with transitions, unfamiliar circumstances, new activities and even mild stressors. These children are called “anxious,” “difficult,” “easily distressed,” “explosive” and “highly emotional.” Parents often experience them as being rigid and inflexible. Highly sensitive children have an inborn temperament that renders them reactive to internal and external experiences.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |